T. A. Anderson

Writer

21 Experiences Every Indie Author Can Relate To

Are you toying with the idea of becoming a self published writer? Here are a few things you can expect once you hit publish. I’m about to take you on a journey to a place that only an indie author will understand. It’s quite scary. Proceed… if you dare.

1. You just hit publish! The first thought that runs through your head is… “I’m going to be the next Stephen King!”.

2. You check KDP obsessively to watch your sales.

3. OMG!! (You call your mom) “Mom!! I sold five books on release day!!!! Five people know who I am! I’m famous!!”.

4. Five months pass. You’ve sold zero books since release day. (You call a friend) “I haven’t sold a book in five months. I’ll never be as good as that other author. Everybody hates me. I give up!”.

5. You realize that even though only five people have read your book, it is part of a series, so you must finish writing the next book. Even if catching yourself on fire sounds more appealing.

6. For reasons you can’t explain, your sales start to pick up, in turn giving you a confidence boost.

7. You start receiving good reviews from people other than your family. You question if these good reviews were fueled by alcohol and/or illegal substances.

8. You get an idea for a new book. You think it’s the most original, brilliant idea in the history of ever. Then, you hear another author talk about their new, original, brilliant idea, and it’s the same as yours.

9. You get invited to an event where REAL authors will be signing. You wonder if the person who invited you was threatened with bodily harm if they didn’t send you an invite.

10. You say bad reviews don’t matter to you, but the moment that really awful review comes in, you lose your shit.

11. When a well known author friends you on Facebook, you can’t help but think it was an accidental click of the mouse. You would ask if it was an accident, but you’re too busy fangirling and posting screenshots of the friend notification.

12. You hire a cover designer to give you the hottest cover in town, only to see the same image on fifteen other covers.

13. You say that you don’t have time for the drama in the indie world, yet you post about it, and ask around to find out what happened.

14. Self doubt is a daily occurrence. You and your writing need to be coddled daily like a newborn baby.

15. You’re not sure of the last time you took a shower. Your stench is filling every room in your home. When you do finally decide you need a good wash, it turns into a ‘I no longer smell like swamp ass’ celebration.

16. Your daily food intake consists of coffee, soda, junk food, and/or nicotine.

17. When you’re in the middle of writing a book, you lose touch with reality. Most days you forget to feed your children. That’s if you even remember you have children.

18. Your house usually looks like it could be featured on an episode of Hoarders.

19. You spend more time surfing the web for hot men pictures to use for teasers, than you do writing your next book.

20. You contact hundreds of bloggers, hoping they like your work enough to promote it. Eventually, you befriend some of these bloggers, and you couldn’t care less if they love your book, as long as they still love YOU.

21. You start to develop a small fan base. These people will always hold a special place in your heart, because they loved your books when no one else would bat an eyelash at them.

To all of you aspiring writers out there, take heed. There will be days when you feel like you’re suffering from bipolar disorder. Some days you’ll want to quit writing. Some days you’ll think you’re the best wordsmith on the scene. You will cry, laugh, and maybe even want to punch babies. Keep going. If you’re serious about this writing gig, all the craziness is worth it.